Look… I first lost weight by myself. But when you’re successful at weight loss, you attract an audience. “You look great!” “You must feel so much better!” “How are you doing it?” “Can you eat XYZ?”
It’s easy to let your identity become wrapped up in or confused by that weight loss, even if you don’t mean for it to happen. So when you have setbacks and struggles, it’s difficult to know or remember who you are or ever were. This sounds like hyperbole but it is not.
Try as I might, that identity is gone. And tbh I’m better for it. To equate myself with that skinny dude or weight loss champion is just as offensive and stigmatizing as identifying as the fat guy. I’m just a person. No more, no less.
That said, it has dawned on me that it is time to get back to basics by making a conscious effort to become healthier.. not skinnier or leaner or abs-ier. You know… lower cholesterol and blood pressure. That kind of stuff. Those were the original motivators to lose 100+ pounds in 2010. Somewhere along the way, though.. the motivators became those compliments and little accolades. The goal, at almost 300 pounds, wasn’t necessarily to look good although that would be a perk. It was to be around for a long time. Somewhere along the way, after hitting a goal weight (and probably shorty after the marathon), having “arrived,”… I lost sight of that.
Now I wish I was at the weight I was at when I ran the Chicago Marathon (~180). I’m not. I’m about 70 pounds from that. (Ugh.. that physically hurts to write). But again.. I’m getting the cart before the horse. The first time around, I made small attainable goals and met them. I certainly had big picture goals, but I never let them cloud my vision of the little milestones.
So here we go.
- Lose 5 pounds.
- Log food intake (temporary goal). Observe trends.
- Take & record measurements.
- Get stuff checked out (like cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.).
- Cook dinner at home 4-5 nights per week. This should probably be more often but let’s be real.. this will be a good start.
- Workout/run at least 4 times per week.
When I meet these, I’ll add some more. I might share them here. I might not. But in the meantime, I’ll be doing the work.